Battered men suffer in silence - Instablogs
Battered men suffer in silence
Rose Ng'ang'a , Nairobi: May 25 2009
Made Popular May 26 2009
Kenya :

Battered men suffer in silence

Over 1.5 million Kenyan men are battered by their wives. It has been revealed that many men suffer domestic abuse from their spouses in silence. A new research shows that domestic violence against men has substantially shot up. Normally it is widely held that women are always the victims but today women are also perpetrators of domestic abuse and violence.

Notably women will share with their friends in case they are battered by their husbands but men in most occasions opt to keep quiet hence leaving the abuse by women against men in the dark. As usual there has to be a specific place that takes toll, Central province leads in physical abuse by women against men, at 72 percent. Nairobi is second at 60 percent.

The abuse includes injuries and emotional abuse such as battering, verbal abuse, denial of conjugal rights and being forced to do house chores. Others are even raped and inflicted with bodily injuries besides being insulted. More than 60 per cent of the women interviewed in 40 districts nationally admitted that they had physically abused their husbands.

According to the survey, most of those affected were newly weds and those in old marriages. Their research found that men had little say on issues concerning conjugal rights because women were the ones who determined when and how they should make love.

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1 Stars
Salil
Kochi, India
Its no different than here in India. Men are badly abused by their wives but have to remain silent to avoid being laughed at.
1 Stars
Rose Ng'ang'a
Nairobi, Kenya
I never knew how abused men could be before this report was published, we see them walking their heads high and think they are alright but the case could be different.
0 Stars
ROHAN D 498a.org
Bangalore, India
This is very true. Please join and support Save Family Foundation. It is a free voluntary organisation fighting against abuse by women. www.savefamily.org, www.saveindianfamily.org We need support from like-minded people.
(Global Perspectives)
1 Stars
Richard
Atlanta, United States
The abuse includes injuries and emotional abuse such as battering, verbal abuse, denial of conjugal rights and being forced to do house chores. Others are even raped and inflicted with bodily injuries besides being insulted.


I hope you are not exaggerating on this one. And if not, then these are not men.
1 Stars
Rose Ng'ang'a
Nairobi, Kenya
For sure I am not exxagerating women have reversed roles, at this rate you never know, you said if this is happening these are not men imagine of a case where the woman is the sole bread winner of that family, rather she earns more than the man what happens?
Okey that aside in my own opinion so many men are running away from responsibilities they say it is the 21 century men and women are equal and imagine women are just out smarting them. You noted i cited the Central Province as the most affected gannering 72 percent, a good percent of men here are cabbages their work is to drink cheap brews and sell house properties when their wives are out searching for something to eat. By the way some of them end up killing their husbands.
2 Stars
Nuya Bidness
Birmingham, United States
I am wondering how a woman rapes a man? Are they spiking the coffee with Viagra? A woman can have sex when she is not in the mood, painful, but can be done.

A man on the other hand has to be ....erm....excited into the state....or do penises really have a mind of their own? And just how big are these women? Inquiring minds want to know!
(Global Perspectives)
1 Stars
ROHAN D 498a.org
Bangalore, India
@Nuya,


Yes, a woman can rape a man without the willingness of the man. Erection need not be always willing. It can be attained by physical manipulation and tickling the sense nerves. Rape can also happen with the man being given drugs to make him unconscious.
(Global Perspectives)
1 Stars
Nuya Bidness
Birmingham, United States
So you are saying that penises REALLY do have a mind of their own?
(Global Perspectives)
1 Stars
ROHAN D 498a.org
Bangalore, India
@Nuya,

”So you are saying that penises REALLY do have a mind of their own”————–

The sensory nerves are connected to the brain and the mind and when tickled activate. Call it a ’Mind of its own’ if you wish.
(Global Perspectives)
1 Stars
Bill
Perth, Australia
Women are more educated and self dependent now and this is the reason why such incidents are shooting up. If both the parties agree to maintain balance in the relationship, im sure these things will stop. But they gotta need lot of maturity for that.
1 Stars
Rose Ng'ang'a
Nairobi, Kenya
Yah women are becoming more indipendent by day.
1 Stars
I have always been of the opinion that women are no saints.They also have evil tendencies lurking within.This age of ours is most suited for them to show to the outside world that we are also incarnation of Satan!!
(Global Perspectives)
1 Stars
Elias
Bombay, India
These are the result of the misguidance by the feminists to the women.
1 Stars
Rose Ng'ang'a
Nairobi, Kenya
What! misguidance by feminists, no way men have failed and this is why women are super ceding them in so many ways.
1 Stars
ROHAN D 498a.org
Bangalore, India
Elias,

This is very true. The corporates and media are funding the stupid feminists to brainwash the society into believing that women are discriminated and men are evil. because the women’s empowerment and liberation concepts divide families, break them into different portions and each of those families becomes a financial unit by itself. Thereby, if a family of 4 gets divided into 4 parts, they would need 4 refrigerators, 4 T.V. sets 4 sofas, 4 cars, 4 bikes, 4 apartments etc. Emotional needs are not met in such cases and they tend to get depression and other psychological problems. The Psychiatrists, psychologists, pharma companies all benefit from this female aggression. Besides, Lawyers and judges get their moolah as more and more divorces, 498A, Dv and alimony cases are filed. The economy runs this way. This is the reason why corporates, media and rich people are funding the feminists.
(Global Perspectives)
1 Stars
ROHAN D 498a.org
Bangalore, India
@Rose,

Men have failed??? isn’t that the reason why we have machines, computers, Internet and what not for comfort? isn’t that same failure of men is being used by women? Let women stop using these things.
(Global Perspectives)
1 Stars
Rose Ng'ang'a
Nairobi, Kenya
@ Rohan
If you noted i mentioned some not all of them and lemmie be specific that we appreciate and happy to part of what men have invented, including what you quoted in your comment, and i personally respect all the men that deserve my respect, okey without them we cannot be but on the other hand there is that percentage that lets the male fraternity down nad this is the group that the women are taking advantage of.
1 Stars
ROHAN D 498a.org
Bangalore, India
@Rose,

”okey without them we cannot be but on the other hand there is that percentage that lets the male fraternity down nad this is the group that the women are taking advantage of.”———————-

This is true. Many men are the worst enemies of men’s rights. They do it mostly to appease the women and get sexual favours.
(Global Perspectives)
1 Stars
@Elias

Well said.I am happy that you are aware of the evil designs of the feminists!
(Global Perspectives)
1 Stars
Shahzaib
Nairobi, Kenya
The number of married men committing suicide is more than the number of married women. Which proves that men are suppressed more by their wives.
1 Stars
Rose Ng'ang'a
Nairobi, Kenya
Yah that is true but what do you think is the source of the problem? I am not a women rights activist but i think men have failed the test of time some not all.
1 Stars
ROHAN D 498a.org
Bangalore, India
@Rose,

Men have failed the test of time??? Are you saying men are redundant? Then, please don’t use anything that men have created. Stop using the Internet, the phone, T.V. etc. Why do you want to use something that is created by a redundant animal?
(Global Perspectives)
1 Stars
Nuya Bidness
Birmingham, United States
Most men commit suicide because of financial failures, or being mixed up with criminal elements like illegal gambling, drugs or other scandals. The fact that they are married is only a coincidence.
(Global Perspectives)
1 Stars
ROHAN D 498a.org
Bangalore, India
@Nuya,

”Most men commit suicide because of financial failures, or being mixed up with criminal elements like illegal gambling, drugs or other scandals. The fact that they are married is only a coincidence”——————————————This is a typical feminist propaganda to pass the buck and put the blame on men for the crimes committed by women. There is a clear link between marriage and suicide in the case of men. The suicide rate of married men is 3 times higher than married women. On the other hand, suicide rate of singe men is twice that of single women. This clearly shows and rebuts the feminist theory that financial reasons are the cause of most suicides of men. The suicide rate of married men being 3 times higher is not a coincidence but a very clear indication that women indulge in domestic violence.
(Global Perspectives)
1 Stars
Nuya Bidness
Birmingham, United States
The only thing it is a clear sign of is that the men are older and had more time to get in trouble.
(Global Perspectives)
1 Stars
Omar
Riyadh, Saudi Arabia
Then you abuse Islam. See giving undue liberty to women have costed you in what way...
2 Stars
Rose Ng'ang'a
Nairobi, Kenya
women are proving to be a strong gender against all odds, but they are not justified to beat their husbands there are other better ways to solve conflicts anyway rather than inflicting physical harm to your patner which should also be the case to wife batterers.
1 Stars
Nuya Bidness
Birmingham, United States
GIVING UNDUE LIBERTY????????? >.
(Global Perspectives)
1 Stars
ROHAN D 498a.org
Bangalore, India
Rose,

”women are proving to be a strong gender against all odds”———————–How do you say this? Just because we have machines today for women to work on par with men, just because the danger from nature has become almost zero, and just because society has advanced so much that its protective shield exists everywhere, does that imply that women are strong against all odds? Place a woman away from the society and you will know.
(Global Perspectives)
1 Stars
Pete
San Diego, United States
We need trainings on conflict resolution. The best place to start is Schools as part of the social ethics curriculum. Churches also should come in strongly. Otherwise if the family unit is under threat then the whole society can easily collapse. Let us examine the foundation in which our marriages are laid.
1 Stars
Rose Ng'ang'a
Nairobi, Kenya
I fully support youir suggestion.
2 Stars
ROHAN D 498a.org
Bangalore, India
This is a very good suggestion. But feminists would not support you as one of their main focus is to destroy the family system.
(Global Perspectives)
2 Stars
Willy
Abu Dhabi, United Arab Emirates
What percentage of the battered men were Christians? Wrong choices of life partners is one thing, irresponsibility is another, unfaithfulness not to mention, but the worse thing is to be hypocrites. It is written 'Man is God's glory, and the woman is man's glory. What makes them to be beaten is their own folly.
1 Stars
Rose Ng'ang'a
Nairobi, Kenya
Thanks Willy for stating it the way it should,

”irresponsibility and unfaithfulness” the modern woman will not sit back and spectate.

”What makes them to be beaten is their own folly.”
1 Stars
Nuya Bidness
Birmingham, United States
well when you tell women that God only favors men and that women are only property, what do you expect them to act like?
(Global Perspectives)
1 Stars
ROHAN D 498a.org
Bangalore, India
@Nuya,

”well when you tell women that God only favors men and that women are only property, what do you expect them to act like?”——————————thats a misinterpretation by feminists and communists to destroy all tradition and God and religion. No religion says this.
(Global Perspectives)
1 Stars
Nuya Bidness
Birmingham, United States
ALL religions say that and that is exactly how women have been treated for thousands of years. Nothing more than property to be disposed of, no rights, no liberties, no part in religion at all, just cattle to be separated out from the herd and used as men see fit.

If you beat a dog long enough, it will eventually turn around and bite you. You are the ones getting bit, thank your misogynistic forefathers for it.

Don’t they have history books where you come from?
(Global Perspectives)
2 Stars
Kunal
Nairobi, Kenya
Those are the silent majority who suffer bitterly without complaining!

Maybe next time battering occurs I should be seing headlines of 'Men and children' . They seem to be the helpless lot!
1 Stars
Rose Ng'ang'a
Nairobi, Kenya
The ego cannot allow them to talk men are introverts when it comes to some issues, would you imagine of a man sharing with fellow men how many punches and kicks he received from his wife last night? never and so many of them are having a fair share of their wives wrath but opt to keep queit.
2 Stars
Philip
Nairobi, Kenya
Forget domestic abuse what most kikuyu men fear is not being beaten by the wife but being poisoned.... In kiambu district, thousands of men have been poisoned by their wives, my uncle has been dead for many years after having been poisoned by his wife in 1981
2 Stars
ROHAN D 498a.org
Bangalore, India
@Rose,

The problem is not with the men. The problem is with the society which has liberated the women and not ready to liberate the men. Hence, the man’s ego does not allow him to discuss freely about the DV that he faces. Society would laugh at him for not being man-enough to face his wife. The day men are liberated, this scenario would change. If you attend any of the Save Indian Family meetings, you would find men discussing quite openly about these issues because they know they would not be humiliated.
(Global Perspectives)
2 Stars
Nuya Bidness
Birmingham, United States
Save Indian Family by destroying Indian woman, I guess that is a fair trade off.
(Global Perspectives)
1 Stars
ROHAN D 498a.org
Bangalore, India
@Nuya,

”Save Indian Family by destroying Indian woman, I guess that is a fair trade off. ”————————-Unlike feminists who want destruction of family, men and tradition, besides marriage, Save Indian Family movement is a positive movement with the single agenda of protecting the family and fighting against feminists laws. The question of destruction of Indian women does not even arise as 1.3 Lakh women are victims of feminist laws in India in the last 5 years alone! Strangely, feminists don’t consider these sisters and mothers of male relatives as women. The feminists fight only for wives.
(Global Perspectives)
1 Stars
Nuya Bidness
Birmingham, United States
I notice that you assign labels to females as mother, sister, wife but never assign them an identity of their own.

You talk about feminists destroying ...family, men and tradition, you never even acknowledge that women have an identity apart from that.

Your save the family is about destroying women’s souls, crushing the life out of them, stripping them of their human rights, just so that you can have your way.

Women do not have to be held hostage by outdated traditions just to have a family. Men just have control issues and they are willing to give up any of their control over women.
(Global Perspectives)
3 Stars
James
Sydney, Australia
There are many ways to abuse a spouse - physical I think is the simplest to capture. Emotional abuse is far worse and more prevalent. And it starts by depriving social contact, then depriving the opportunity to work, and then it comes by breaking them down emotionally to submission and finally - the physical abuse starts. I think training people to be independent and aware is just as important as having a legal avenue.
1 Stars
Rose Ng'ang'a
Nairobi, Kenya
I concur with you James.
2 Stars
Suzanne
Ottawa, Canada
Every man is battered by his wife as much as every wife gets batterd by her husband, the only difference in the batterings is the degree and extent!
1 Stars
Rose Ng'ang'a
Nairobi, Kenya
I just like the way you put it ..... its the degree and extent that matters you say.
2 Stars
ROHAN D 498a.org
Bangalore, India
@Suzanne,

Not really! Abuse by men is noticable and obvious. Abuse by women is hidden and forcefully denied. There is a term called ’Brutal assault’. There is another called ’intelligent assault’. Women indulge in the latter 99% of the time, manipulating men as they want them to be. Men are more into brutal assault which is seen and taken cognisance of.
(Global Perspectives)
2 Stars
Gaurav
Banglore, India
I don't deny that some men are battered by their wives, but definitely this statistics are exaggerated. Are we competing here to see how is being battered most? Guys get serious the issue is to end domestic violence not competition or seek sympathy.
1 Stars
Rose Ng'ang'a
Nairobi, Kenya
for sure the statistics are not exaggerated you will surprised this could be an understatement.
3 Stars
Gaurav
Banglore, India
I said something positive as well which you forgot to read,

the issue is to end domestic violence not competition or seek sympathy.
(Global Perspectives)
1 Stars
Nuya Bidness
Birmingham, United States
I agree with Gaurav, I think they worded the questions to get the desired response. When those people who take polls call my house, I will answer only up to the point when they say give a yes or no answer only to the following question, then I hang up on them.

The example I usually use is.... Answer only yes or no, Do you ’still’ beat your kids? Either way you answer that question, you will be made to look bad even if you have never hit your kids.
(Global Perspectives)
1 Stars
Rose Ng'ang'a
Nairobi, Kenya
@Gaurav

I noted the your positive approach since this will mean that even the wife batterers will have to stop.
2 Stars
ROHAN D 498a.org
Bangalore, India
@Gaurav,

Nobody is trying to gain sympathy for men as men never get it anyway. I want to know how you believe that this statistics is exaggerated. Is it because you were never told about it earlier? Or, is it because you are finding it difficult to accept the level? Yes, I am with you when you say DV should end.
(Global Perspectives)
2 Stars
Wonda L
Earth, Canada
If any man complains about being battered by woman they should go back to nature and give up their manhood
the funniest and at the same time the most pity full thing would be to see two so called men complaining about woman
Look out you macho men i seen a spider under your chair
1 Stars
Rose Ng'ang'a
Nairobi, Kenya
They have been beaten, but nature will not still accept their request what will they do?
1 Stars
ROHAN D 498a.org
Bangalore, India
@Wayne,

This is the typical femininazi way of distracting men from their liberation movement. When men complain, feminists call them non-masculine men. Yet, they want equality to prevail and want women to be liberated. When women are liberated from traditional roles and concepts, why cannot they liberate the men from their traditional roles and concepts? Who is a man and who is not a man? A man who is battered by a woman is not a man?? Then the woman who is battering the man is also not a woman.
(Global Perspectives)
2 Stars
Guneetkalradeepak
jallandhar, India
strange behavior, that is, if it is true.

in some places women liberation era has just started and looks like in other parts of the globe men liberation era needs to be supported now.

domestic abuse, is not acceptable.

we are looking for equality here and not dominance on one another.
1 Stars
Rose Ng'ang'a
Nairobi, Kenya
Thumbs up.
0 Stars
Wonda L
Earth, Canada
The battering of man by nature was a light touch ,but the battering of woman by the world that favored males is constant brutal and never ending
Men need 5000 years of battering before the babies have a right to complain–here is a grown up depends for the infants
1 Stars
ROHAN D 498a.org
Bangalore, India
@Wayne illogical,

Brutal assault always gets much more attention than intelligent assault. Women are well-known for the latter and for committing brutal assault through the back door [By hiring killers and instigating other men to do it on their behalf apart from misusing laws]. Your reply is a delusion of sorts and you need to grow up!
(Global Perspectives)
0 Stars
Wonda L
Earth, Canada
Rohand
When two people will never see things the same the best approach is to be polite and realize not all see life the same
Now have a good day and i expect you to tell me the same –Wayne
0 Stars
Wonda L
Earth, Canada
Rohand
When two people will never see things the same the best approach is to be polite and realize not all see life the same
Now have a good day and i expect you to tell me the same –Wayne
1 Stars
@Rose

Thanks for an eye-opening article.These happenings are indicative of dark future.These happenings are a tight slap on the face of feminists who always present women as victims and not as oppressors.

Anyway, I am happy that are men are beginning to realize that menace caused by the feminists need to be tackled in a more co-ordinated way.

Yes,the world never fails to to take note of the brutal behaviour of men. However, the same world turns a blind eye to the most inhuman behaviour of women and ironically comes to hail them as icons of refined virtues.

It’s time to realize that if women are given opportunity they have the capacity to be more lethal than ”nuclear bomb”!!
1 Stars
ROHAN D 498a.org
Bangalore, India
@Arvind,

Absolutely!! One of the reasons for not identifying brutal behaviour of women is the hangover of tradition and the confusion between tradition and modernity.
(Global Perspectives)
1 Stars
Rose Ng'ang'a
Nairobi, Kenya
@ARVIND
Thanks too for dropping by and initiating a seriuos debate, thanks again.
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